I'm listening to the family iPod - found a recording of my sister and her soon to be ex husband on cello and organ - am listening as I type. Every time her playing is less than emphatic I think, ah she wasn't eating! which distracts from listening to the music as music. My eyes tear up by the second stanza when it's Mozart. Here's something by Lizst! And now, because it's Mark, something like the soundtrack to a horror movie. Mark is a post modern composer - atonal, sometimes anti-melodic, often off-putting, cerebral, sometimes beautiful in a non-gorgeous way. Now there are so many chords screaming out of the organ. Mark's hands are huge and double-jointed. And now, oh dear, it's raining, Jim off on his new motorcycle. Luckily he's wearing the Musto rainpants we bought when we took sailing lessons. Will he make it to Carnation to his brother's house or will he return home momentarily? I am relishing time in the house by myself, something I haven't had for weeks and weeks. It may be for another five minutes or two more hours. The uncertainty keeps me on guard more than I'd like. I'm up in my room with the door closed and the iPod earbuds in my ears, so what is the difference then from being here alone and having the family home and humming around the other rooms? My antennae are not wiggling at every odd sound, lack of sound, vibration, rumble, crash or breath. The organ and cello are racing after each other loudly, a music page loudly flaps, and now a crescendoed end. Here's its got to be a piece by Mark - sound of a cello bow against the wood of the cello, plink plunks, this is a piano now not organ, flick of melody, flitter of piano keys, emotional bow draw on cello, piano cleaning chord, cello question, piano arpeggio, cello playing in violin range, piano like stream, like scale playing, cello high high high, end chord on piano, high high cello drawn out note, multiple tiny statements by piano, cello note slurs, piano note slurs, four note phrases, smush chords on piano, loud chords on piano, cello melody line going low and resonant, five notes from piano, cello mimicking violin piano insistent, the pair twining separating, cello sweet and low, piano silent, piano climbing stairs with bo jangles feet, cello sostanza, piano and cello leap frog flirting, trading phrases back and forth, can you do this? this? together, faster faster loud and louder, random note leaps, chords, then paired note swerving on cello, drippy drops on piano, together, little chase scene, sweet chords, building tension, a man falling onto the bass end of the piano keyboard and silence.